Genital Consulting

Show us your design and we’ll help look for your hidden genitals.

When you’ve been looking at your own design too much, it’s easy to miss simple signs that your logo has some hidden genitals in it. Hire Genitals or Not? to help you identify your genitals.

Last winter, Denver Designer Josh Mishell saw some (probably unintended) genitalia on a beer coaster at a local brewery startup. He posted the photo online. While many people thought the photo was funny, a few concerned friends pointed out that he should do something constructive with his time, instead of just pointing out the hilarity of these unexpected genitals in design.

Keep your genitals where they belong: in your pants, not in your design! We do not want to see seemingly innocent design have unexpected consequences that will most likely negatively affect your business - just because you can't tell that there are hairy balls on your beer coasters.

We offer our expert Genital Consulting at a reasonable rate that all companies will be able to afford. The result is a professional review of your design to discover elements that should not be a part of your brand.

Genitals or Not is here to help keep you from an embarrassing oversight!


When you’ve been looking at your own design too much, it’s easy to miss simple signs that your logo has some hidden genitals in it. Hire Genitals or Not? to help you identify your genitals.

Getting started is as easy as getting to second base:

  1. Pay a modest $25 design review fee.
  2. Upload an image of your design.
  3. Give us your design’s intended usage (billboard, beer coaster, logo, etc.).

Once we’ve received your request, we’ll hand the art over to our crack team of design investigators to give your design a thorough analysis. If we find a dick, we’ll let you know. If you’ve missed some errant balls, we’ll help you cover them back up. Bit o’ boobies? We'll bounce those right out of your design.

Sometimes good intentions can still have below-the-belt implications.

Our patent pending "Balls Out" procedure will help you avoid embarrassment.

Starting the process is easy. Just fill out the form below and we'll contact you shortly to give you the peace of mind that your logo or other design has all of the intended meanings you want - and none of the unintended sexual innuendos that you don't.


  • Accepted file types: jpg, gif, png, pdf, ai, eps.
    If you aren't sure that your design has secretive genitals in it, or just want a second opinion on your design to ensure that you aren't missing some genitals, this is where you're going to be attaching your image.

    Maximum file size: 4mb.
  • Give us some examples on where your designs will go. Beer coasters? Billboards? Vinyl wraps for vehicles? It's important to make sure that your design will be viewed in real-life situations to determine whether it's got some hidden genitals.
  • Price: $25.00
  • American Express
  • Your transaction is protected by a SSL (Secure Socket Layer) certificate and your payment information is secure and will not be shared anywhere.
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